♪ ♪
Stop!
CROWD: Stop!
Why do we always come here?
Open 24 hours.
Everything in Vegas is open 24 hours.
It's cheap.
STOKES: Smells like bacon in here.
Slide over.
That scene took forever.
We were there like, what, nine hours?
Eleven.
A dead lawyer and 200 eyewitnesses--
it's going to take a while.
Come for a wedding, stay for the funeral.
Why do we always eat here?
It's tradition.
SIDLE: Ah, tradition.
Like becoming property exchange
between your father and your husband?
Oh, that's not what a wedding is.
It's a public declaration of love.
I'm with Vince Vaughn on this one.
Dozens of horny, single women
with access to an open bar and coupling on their mind.
WAITRESS: Weddings are a Rorschach.
Everybody sees what they want to see.
My first five were good.
ANCHOR: Noted criminal defense attorney,
Diane Chase was killed yesterday...
SANDERS: We haven't even gone back to the lab yet,
and we're already on TV.
In a tragic twist, Ms. Chase was killed while attending
her son's wedding.
She was best known for taking on the toughest cases,
and it was her defense
of high-profile, organized crime associates
that really made her a name in legal circles.
If it was an intelligent question,
I'd stop to answer it.
ANCHOR: Most recently, she represented Dino Fatelli
of the Fatelli crime family,
who was sentenced to life last month
for the brutal slaying of casino mogul Remy James.
The stones on these guys--
to take her out at her son's wedding?
Pass the cream, will you?
Dude, where's your car?
It's parked right...
Incoming.
I'll talk. You guys just look apologetic.
All right, let me see if I understand this correctly.
You let one of the members of your team drive
his personal vehicle to a crime scene investigation;
and then, even though there was
a perfectly good crime scene vehicle there,
that personal car was crammed
with every bit of evidence collected
at a major murder investigation, because two of you
were maxed out on overtime.
And then the driver,
of said car, instead of securing that evidence in the lab,
gave priority to his need for runny eggs.
And the aforementioned vehicle
was stolen from a parking lot filled with police cars.
Is there anything I missed?
GRISSOM: Just this:
Even if we recover the vehicle,
the chain of custody has been broken,
so all the evidence has been compromised.
No judge will allow any of it
to be admitted into court.
Also, we released the crime scene,
so it, too, is compromised,
leaving us nothing to go back for.
Thank you for clarifying the situation.
It could've been worse.
Captioning sponsored by CBS, C.S.I. PRODUCTIONS
♪ Who... are you? ♪
♪ Who, who, who, who? ♪
♪ Who... are you? ♪
♪ Who, who, who, who? ♪
♪ I really wanna know ♪
♪ Who... are you? ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Who... ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Who... ♪
♪ Come on, tell me who are you, you, you ♪
♪ Oh, you! ♪
We were seated at a booth,
with clear visual access to the vehicle.
A delivery truck pulls up, blocks our view.
For how long?
Two, three minutes, tops.
What kind of truck?
Bread, dairy... I can't remember.
BRASS: Did you have an alarm?
Yeah. Yeah, it didn't go off.
Are you sure it was locked?
Yeah, absolutely.
And I have a tracking system on my truck, too.
I called it in as soon as I realized it was missing.
Okay. I'll follow up. There's about a dozen places
to hide a tracking system on a car.
I'm sure the Fatellis know 'em all.
CURTIS: No broken glass.
No bolts from a disengaged transmission.
No tire treads or skid marks.
Hey, Jim.
I need a ride.
Internal Affairs Bureau is coming to take our statements.
They'll want to know what's been lost.
So let's not make ourselves look any worse
than we already do.
Write down everything-- evidence collected,
interview notes, etc... Every detail.
No one leaves
until they've given their account of the event.
So aside from the accident,
Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show?
Not good.
Fatelli was handled by the day shift.
Let's pull the file.
And compare it to what?
We've got no crime scene photos.
I have mine, but they're only of the ballroom.
But every wedding these days has a videographer.
We got to get the video.
♪ ♪
Oh. Hey, Grissom.
I'm sorry to hear about the setback.
Yeah, well, it's all about the body now, David.
There was a vital response in the ligature marks
around her ankles.
So she might have been unconscious,
but she probably was still alive
when she was tied to the car.
Yeah, all the significant trauma was to the back of her head.
We'll know more after autopsy.
UNDERSHERIFF: So you tell me how
I'm going to spin this thing.
I've got a dead lawyer, a known enemy of the department,
who made her career picking us apart.
And now, we've lost the evidence in her murder.
Even I don't buy it.
The Fatellis are on our radar.
Press is going to eat us alive.
Six month trial, we finally get Fatelli shipped off to Lompoc.
He's not even in the state.
How long are his arms?
I talked to the feds.
They're checking the call logs, visitors' logs.
It's going to look like the CSIs were paid off.
Nobody's going to believe
that this was an unfortunate series of coincidences.
So my choices are: we're idiots, or we're dirty.
So which are we?
It was a big scene.
I threw tons of stuff into the back of your truck.
Figured I'd just sort it out later.
Print lifts, swabs, my camera.
Well, maybe if we talk it out, it will help.
I started with the "Just Married" convertible.
Well, thankfully, that didn't get stolen. Where is it?
Because of possible Fatelli involvement,
the undersheriff ordered it swept at the scene
before they brought it back to the lab.
It could be hours.
Did you get anything from it?
Prints...
I remember David saying...
"You'd think she'd know better
than to wear white on the bride's big day."
So there we were at Cupid's Kiss,
a Nuptial Neverland where the cheese factor
was dangerously high
and the flowers were obviously fake.
Can the love be real when the flowers aren't?
Oh, you really have a thing about weddings, don't you?
Hey, I didn't interview them.
It was just my impression.
SIDLE: Hi, there. Hi.
I'm, uh, Sara Sidle.
I'm with the crime lab.
Bryce Gundy, groom's side.
Did you guys decorate the wedding car
with those beer cans?
Yep.
Did you drink all the beer first?
Yep.
Awesome.
Did you also tie the groom's mom to the bumper?
Nope.
Um, I'm going to need to get your fingerprints
so I can compare them to the prints
that I got off the car.
Cool.
You are aware that someone has died?
Nobody's going to miss her except her son
and her cell phone provider.
Oh, what do you mean?
She's creepy close to Adam.
Must have called him 15 times a day.
Huh.
Do you mind just putting your finger right here?
Oh! Okay, Mr. Gundy...
I think I love you.
Yeah, thank you. You need to sit down.
Have a club soda.
Um, um, excuse me, you dropped this.
Sorry about him.
Why do the jerks get all the tail?
Sara Sidle, crime lab.
I'm, uh, Mikey. Best man. Brother of the bride.
Yeah, it's, you know.
Yeah.
Hey, this is a pretty crazy-ass situation, huh?
They say it's good luck
if it rains on your wedding day.
What do you think about a dead body?
What do you think?
I think my sister's better off.
You ever think about getting married?
Um...
I'm just saying, you know,
Um...
I'm just saying, you know,
I think Bryce could make an honest woman out of you.
Oh, look at that--
your rejection broke his little heart.
STOKES: Should I put flirting in the case file?
I was printing.
He was flirting.
Uni found the tracking device from Nick's car
in a trash can, a couple blocks from the diner.
Pro job.
Has it been to Prints?
Well, no.
But if it was the Fatellis, it's going to be clean.
Yeah. Nick's truck has no street value.
The value was what was inside.
Did you get a number?
No. No, I didn't get anything.
She must have put it in my pocket.
Mindy.
You think she'd know better
than to wear white on the bride's big day.
STOKES: The perfume of American beauties was everywhere.
Though a rose by any other name
would have smelled just as sweet
on a day with that much love in the air.
Ladies, hi, how you doing?
Hi.
I'm with the crime lab. My name's Nick Stokes.
I'm going to need to print you both, okay?
Mindy Faberge. Bride's side.
Um, can we go in and change.
I can't get warm.
Cindy Jansen. I think she's still in shock.
You were in the wedding party.
Did you spend most of the day here with Ms. Chase?
She was on her best behavior.
Outside that toast she gave.
There you go.
Thank you.
Um, well, I think that was the alcohol talking.
So, she was a drinker?
By the end of the toast,
she was slurring her words
and swaying all over the place.
I almost felt bad for her.
Anyone interested in the wedding DVD?
Yeah.
Courtesy of Frank Rosetti,
owner of Cupid's Kiss.
All right, where do you want to start?
ALL: The toast.
Everyone...
Everyone.
I want to thank your for coming.
You know, the Bible says,
"Love is strong as death,"
and as mother of the groom, a wedding is bittersweet.
You are giving up as much as you are gaining.
In some cases you are giving... Oh... up much more.
To hell with it.
I'll wing it.
My Adam...
He studied at Oxford.
He went to Harvard School of Business.
And of all the intelligent,
wonderful, beautiful women he met along the way,
he ended up with Jill.
Plain, little Jill.
There's nothing wrong with her.
But what's right with her?
I mean, even her name is boring.
Adam, it's all right to take a lover.
You just don't have to end up marrying her.
I mean, do you really want to shallow
our gene pool like this?
Oh...
Oh, I want to thank you all so much for coming.
Oh, I love you, Adam.
MAN: Hey, hey, good comedy, Diane...
Justifiable homicide?
Thank you all for coming.
I love you, Adam.
You talked to the bride.
This seems like motive.
Do you think she did it?
When would she have had the time?
You'd think she'd know better
than to wear white on the bride's big day.
GRISSOM: Spring is but a song,
where love and laughter are not wrong.
The blossoms of desire do belong,
and Harmonia axyridis fly along.
JILL: For the past six months,
she made my life hell.
And so I told anyone who'd listen
that she should die a fiery death.
So now everyone's going to think that I killed her.
Would you like to be more specific?
Okay, well,
when we got engaged, she ran into the backyard
and she screamed, "Why, God? Why me?"
Okay, she wore white today.
She invited Adam's very, very attractive,
very, um, single ex-girlfriend.
When she found out that I had registered for sporting goods,
she went behind my back
and she changed the registry to housewares,
saying that I'd better learn how to cook, okay?
I'm a vegetarian,
and she demanded roast beef.
Um... Oh, and then... then there's the toast.
The... the toast.
Are you trying to make me think that you didn't kill her?
I would never do that to Adam.
I honestly don't know how such
an amazing man came from-from... that.
Look, it wasn't just me, okay?
She fought with everyone today.
She fought with the valets and the bridesmaids
and the waiters.
The caterer-- I thought for sure he was going to poison her.
Want to see a crime scene?
I'll show you a crime scene. Come here. Come here.
Look at this, huh?
What this woman had against the color peach--
I've never seen anything like it.
"If you think you're serving that flesh-colored abomination,
and I'm paying for it, you can think again!" Boom!
I'm a 42-year-old paisan. She scared me.
I wouldn't be surprised if her pantyhose rebelled against her
and tied themselves to the car.
The dame was a pill.
I swear to God, she may have taken two or three years off my own life.
Weddings are a blood, sweat and tears marathon, my friend.
I'm on a tight schedule.
12:00 noon, I got first intro of the couple.
12:30, salad course.
12:45, first dance.
1:00, chair dance, chicken dance, broom dance--
I don't care. I'm equal opportunity.
1:30, main course.
2:15, first toast groom's side.
If the best man shuts his mouth, at 2:16 we have
the first toast on the bride's side.
3:00, we cut the cake. 3:30, bouquet toss.
That's a tight schedule.
She would have barely had time to go to the bathroom.
I don't sell bridal diapers for nothing.
He was kidding about the diapers, right?
You're way too pretty to be a cop.
I need to ask you about your brother, Dino Fatelli.
Dino always was the bad seed.
I heard you guys share the taste for blood.
I once was lost,
but now I am found.
You and your brother keep in touch?
Yeah, yeah.
Last thing he said was he didn't like the food at Lompoc.
I told him to call his lawyer.
It's too late now.
Where were you
yesterday afternoon?
You want to crawl up my ass?
You can take a number.
No thanks.
50-to-one, Freddie the Feddy is out there right now
talking to you guys.
UNDERSHERIFF: Did you know you were made?
Yeah. Not even Diane Chase
could keep these guys out of jail.
And we figure it's just a matter of time
before we get something on Sylvano.
Like another murder?
Sorry.
He didn't kill the lawyer.
Runs numbers out of his bar all day.
Trying to pass a kidney stone.
Hates his wife and his girlfriend.
I hear everything.
Could order one of his guys to do it.
The brothers like to be hands-on.
And all we're hearing is them bitching
about how somebody snatched their M.O...
as if it's copyrighted.
ROBBINS: Based on my dissection,
I've detected two separate events.
I believe that this puncture wound
happened first.
The object lacerated a cerebral artery
creating a subdural hematoma.
Then subsequent blows to her skull,
from a ride behind the car, created additional fractures
which caused diffuse bleeding on the brain,
resulting in her death.
So punctured and bobbled?
Yeah.
I autopsied the Fatellis' original victim.
They're sadists.
First Remy James is dragged
behind the Cadillac, and when he wouldn't talk,
they shot him in every joint.
And when he still wouldn't talk,
they finished him off with a shot to the head.
The Fatellis don't mostly kill someone.
So you took the perimeter of the scene, right?
Yeah.
Well, I saw this guy in the shadows.
Archie blew it up.
He looks more like a suspect than a guest.
That face look familiar?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I caught that guy trying to sleep one off in the bushes.
That's the groom's old man.
Wow, I thought my wedding was bad.
Where is he?
I sent him to detox, in the tank.
BRASS: See, that's the problem with being a deadbeat dad.
If you're not around for the bad times,
they don't want you around for the good times.
I didn't... I'm not...
Let's just cut right through
the lie-and-deny part of the chat,
and I'll tell you what I know.
My mother was a powerful woman; she had a lot of enemies.
My mother and Joe worked so hard
to make this day perfect.
It seems silly now.
They had a fight about the gifts, then...
then there was a disagreement with the bridesmaids.
And my mother accidentally brought the wrong dress.
Then the dinner was wrong, and the cake was wrong.
And my father showed up.
What, he wasn't invited?
Um, no.
My parents are divorced.
I think that's why today was so hard on her.
The wedding brought up a lot of issues for her.
She sacrificed so much for me.
Single parent, grad school.
She was a champion.
My father is... unstable.
For years, he's had a drug problem.
FATHER: She told him that.
I don't believe that bitch!
You do or you don't have a drug problem? Which is it?
Don't take everything you see at face value.
15 years ago, Diane decided she wanted to go back to work.
And I encouraged her.
But then she became... driven.
And I was slowing her down.
She got nasty.
I got depressed.
I started taking antidepressants.
She was mortified.
Said it wouldn't look good.
I said, "Hey, I'm not one of your clients.
I'm your husband."
"Not anymore," she said.
She filed
for divorce.
And she said it was because the drugs affected my libido.
We hadn't had sex
for eight months before I started taking the drugs.
Did you have an altercation with her at the wedding?
Yeah. Yeah.
Because of the meds, I don't drink very much.
I did today because I thought it would take the edge off.
It put the edge on.
Good to see you.
Hi. How are you? It's great...
Excuse me.
You were not invited.
I read the papers, Diane.
They teach literacy at the halfway house?
I didn't come here to fight.
You're not here at all.
He's my son, too.
I wouldn't be so sure of that.
I stuck around to see the ceremony.
I even saw a little bit of the reception.
I was sleeping it off when your guys found me.
So you didn't kill her?
No. But you better check to see if she's really dead,
because I don't think
you can kill the devil.
Nick, you drew Mr. Chase's blood at the scene.
His BAC was .28.
That was at 4:00 p.m.
And officers drew it again at the station
an hour later. It was .22.
So he was in the elimination phase.
That means, when the victim was tied to the car,
his blood alcohol level was even higher.
Mr. Chase was blotto.
He couldn't have tied his own shoes.
Assuming whoever took your truck is the killer,
Mr. Chase was in the tank. He couldn't have done it.
One suspect down.
Speaking of downers,
Ms. Chase liked her diazepam.
Blood levels were somewhere between therapeutic and toxic.
That's... that's weird. Her ex-husband told Brass
she was very anti-psychopharmaceuticals.
As a toxicology tech,
I'd say often those who adamantly oppose the D-train
are its most frequent passengers.
But, since she is deceased,
I was able to get her medical records.
No diazepam scrip.
So she got daffy on someone else's pills.
That explains Mindy's account of her behavior.
And the toast.
Doesn't explain how she was conked out, tied to a bumper.
I might know what happened.
You'd think she'd know better than to wear white
on the bride's big day.
SANDERS: A dame was dead,
but enough about her.
The air was hot and heavy with wrong,
making me thirsty.
Thirsty for a tall drink of water.
That's when I saw her-- a flower--
but not the kind you pin on a lapel.
She was long-stemmed.
SIDLE: All right, Raymond Chandler, we get it.
SANDERS: And those weren't just Miracle Bras.
They were creating four Wonders of the World.
I'm Greg Sanders, with the crime lab.
I need to take your prints.
That's quite a case you got there.
Is that your magic kit?
Or your toy box?
You don't seem to be very upset about what happened.
Sweetheart, I've had so many martinis,
I'm both shaken and stirred.
Numbing the pain?
Look, we're not going to pretend
to be all liquid and soft, okay?
All that's missing here
are the striped socks.
Ding, dong, the witch is dead.
So you're not a fan?
Cruella made me wear underwear today.
No one makes me wear underwear.
I'll do you if you do me.
SIDLE: They did not.
So how does that help explain how Diane Chase died?
I'm getting there.
Okay, ladies, let's slow it down.
When was
the last time you saw Diane?
In the hospitality suite.
I came in to fix my hair.
She was complaining of a headache.
Next time I saw her, it was bottoms up, Mommie Dearest.
So I headed behind the pink curtain,
where the girls go to get glossy.
A little shine here, a little pouf there.
A little...
Well, I don't exactly know what that was,
but I liked the feel.
Marriage was looking like a lucrative endeavor.
And that's when I saw it.
Just a few drops.
I thought the blood could have been incidental--
nosebleed, shaving accident.
But, what if, high as a kite on a slipped Mickey,
she slips-- and bam!-- straight to the back of the skull?
The arrow
was four-sided.
It would leave a diamond-shaped wound.
They match.
If the initial wound
was accidental,
why was she panty-hosed to the back of a car?
Don't know yet.
Narrows the field
of suspects down to someone who had access to that suite.
Where's the statue?
In your car.
Ah!
I know every piece of evidence regarding
this case is precious, given the circumstances,
so I just wanted to let you know
that I've moved Ms. Chase's fingernail scrapings
to the top of my extensive queue.
Composite substance. You're never going to believe this.
Egg whites, sugar, butter, milk, food coloring.
How did you know?
Butter cream frosting.
She had an incident with a wedding cake.
Are you done?
You know, you and me, we're not the marrying kind.
The intricacies of our nature
can never be understood by just one woman.
Would you close the door, please?
From the other side.
Sara? Sara?
Are they here?
No. They're still held up with that officer-involved shooting,
but the Bomb Squad has cleared the convertible.
Oh. Finally.
Something to process.
I thought you said the snowboards were in the suite.
I did.
Then what's the case doing in the trunk?
So you asked me to follow her comings and goings
and her food and drink intake.
As far as I can tell,
she didn't touch her soup or salad.
And the main course?
And what did Diane have to drink?
Um... I only saw her with two glasses,
both champagne, first one around 2:00.
But maybe she was hitting the bar, because look:
This is 15 minutes later.
Oh, my.
The waiter gave her a second glass for her toast,
which I watched five times.
And that was it.
When was the last time she was on camera?
Well, her exit was neither polite nor discreet.
I know I may just be a grease monkey, but I drive a tow truck,
and I think I know a little something about getting hitched.
And these two... uh... there's more.
Uh... I think these guys are in it for the long haul.
Making friends over here.
No, but seriously, uh...
I don't mean to get all sentimental or anything,
but these two are going to have a lot of sex tonight.
And.. what?
What? Are you embarrassed?
She's embarrassed. I'm her older brother.
I changed her diapers.
That was 2:25.
Would you play that again?
I know I may just be
a grease monkey, but I drive a tow truck,
and I think I know a little something
about getting hitched.
Yeah, Jim. Check into a Mikey Shoemaker,
the bride's brother.
Run his wants and warrants.
And also look into the location of his tow yard.
Thank you.
So?
Need your hands.
I thought you'd never ask.
I need you to reprint the bumper
because the tape lifts were stolen.
Anything to keep me awake.
Uh-oh! Looks like we had some bride's little helper going on.
Diazepam.
Just filled. Rx calls
for six ten-milligram pills.
Two left.
40 milligrams would match mom's blood level.
Jill gets some pills to calm herself,
decides to calm her mother-in-law instead,
and make everybody happy.
Okay, the blood from the snowboard bag
was a match to Mother Chase.
That could have been what they used to transport her
from point A to point B.
Yeah, "they" is right, 'cause I also found
two female epithelial contributions.
One on each handle of the bag,
and then one of the same females
was also a match to the DNA
from the knot in the pantyhose.
We could compare them to the buccal swabs
we collected... if we still had them.
Well, we'll just have to recollect them.
All 200 of them?
Yeah, and since we can't leave,
someone else is gonna have to recollect them.
This is crap!
I've been waiting on I.A.B. for...( snaps gloves )
...14 hours.
I'm tired...
and I kind of smell,
and I don't have a freakin' car.
Hey, buddy.
Hey.
How you doing?
You all right?
Hey, this, this sucks, man.
I didn't do anything wrong,
and everybody's looking at me like I'm the bad guy.
If I had to do it all over again,
I'd do the exact same thing.
Nick, Nick...
I mean, how do I fix the situation?
Nick!
It was already screwed up to begin with. What?
I loaned one of the bridesmaids my jacket.
She was wearing black.
There was no reason to ALS.
Blood must have transferred from her
to my jacket, to me.
I didn't want to contaminate it
by pulling it over my head, you know?
That was good thinking.
All right. Hey, Wendy,
Uh-huh?
I don't know if you'll be able
to get anything off of this,
but I want you to compare the female epithelials you found
on the snowboard bag against the napkin that I have
in my right front pocket.
Come on.
So that was a good call on the bride's brother, Mikey Shoemaker.
He had a prior conviction for car theft.
Where did you find Nick's truck?
In one of the paint bays of his auto body shop,
right next to a delivery truck.
We're looking for Mikey now.
Well, I watched the rest of the wedding video.
He may have stolen the car,
but once Diane disappears, Mikey never leaves the party.
Maybe he wasn't acting alone.
Hey, Pip. How you like your new ride?
Hey, look. They fixed it.
Oh. Oh, that's not funny.
Oh, it's a little funny.
Where did you get that?
Unis found it in a Dumpster
behind Mikey Shoemaker's body shop.
He went through all that trouble
to steal the car and that's where he ditches it?
Well, they didn't find any biological evidence,
and he probably hocked the cameras,
but at least I've been reunited with Love's deadly arrow.
You know that's not going to stand up in court, right?
Well, Negative Nelly, I know that, and you know that,
but the suspects might not.
We have to convince them that we know what happened.
Do we?
We're close.
Can you put the U.V. filter on the camera?
Sure.
How did you...?
I didn't,
until I processed it.
But I was thinking
the statue punctured her
in the back of the head, which means
one of three things might have happened.
Either she was stabbed by it...
Well, the statue looks a little unwieldy.
Or she accidentally fell on it.
But with no one to blame,
why wouldn't someone just call 911?
Which leaves us with option number three:
she was pushed.
Lucky for us someone had something on their hands.
Something that left good ridge detail
I'll swab it for trace.
Prints are a match to a bridesmaid, Lacey Finn.
She's in the system?
Yeah, she was a cocktail waitress for a short time.
Of course she was.
And I pulled the prints off of this pill bottle,
but I didn't find a match.
Which means the bride didn't do it
because as a nurse, she'd also be in the system.
Correct. However, I did find something.
Look at the prescribing doctor on that label.
I was cross-checking with the guest list,
and guess who the good doctor's wife is.
Mrs. Valerie Whitehall.
She's also a bridesmaid.
Well, she knew where the pills were.
She had access to the suite,
so maybe Jill didn't poison mom, Valerie did.
A little bonus in the bubbly.
I got the results from Mama Chase's suit jacket.
What's the trace?
Hair gel.
Lacey said that she went to fix her hair.
Where's that Sara chick?
Oh, Romeo, I don't think
that you have time for romance.
You're being charged with grand theft auto,
obstruction of justice and conspiracy to murder.
Okay, I will cop to everything but the murder.
Well, if you didn't commit the murder,
why did you steal the car?
Look, the lady was already dead, all right?
And then, then you guys show up
and this bridesmaid comes up to me
and starts asking me all these questions about my tow truck.
Which bridesmaid?
The hot one.
Next thing I know, she wants to be the Bonnie
to my Clyde.
Asked me to steal this car and trash all the evidence.
So you committed grand theft auto to get laid?
Ever stolen a two-ton piece of machinery?
It is way better than sex.
And finding a girl that doesn't want to kick you
to the curb for it?
I mean, come on. That is just hot.
Besides,
I hadn't gotten a wedding gift
for my sister yet.
So I don't have a match
to one of the handles to the snowboard case,
but, um, your napkin girl...
That Mindy Faberge?
She got to be a bridesmaid.
Yeah.
She matches the other handle.
Well, she was in the suite with the gifts.
She could have touched it then.
You paged?
We think that each of the bridesmaids
is responsible for killing her.
Not individually, but working in cahoots.
Each one played their part.
Did you know the original role of the bridesmaid
was to act as a human shield against the bride's enemies?
Women would dress
similar to the bride in an effort to confuse
and outsmart evil spirits
that might try to overtake her on her wedding day.
Wow, for somebody who's anti-wedding,
you certainly know a lot about it.
I'm not anti-wedding.
I'm just anti-stupid--
you know, people who do things for the sake of tradition
with no clue as to why.
Anyway, let's start at the beginning, shall we?
Valerie kindly gets mom a drink.
Then during her toast, Diane starts to feel the effects.
By Mikey's toast, she decides that she's toast.
...a little something about getting hitched.
I know what you did.
I'm going to have your husband's medical license,
and I'm going to have you put away for attempted murder.
SANDERS: Lacey overhears Diane's paranoid
yet correct ramblings and eventually follows her out.
You okay?
The gall of you to ask me that!
You know I'm not okay, you little tart.
You're all just as bad as she is.
Don't get mad.
Valerie was just trying to make you feel better.
Oh, by giving me a controlled substance?
You are going down for conspiracy!
All right!
You know what, lady?!
That's enough!
SANDERS: Leaving her incapacitated but not dead.
STOKES: At which point Lacey
tells Mindy and Cindy.
They formulate a plan.
Oh, God!
Once we get her in there,
what are we going to do with her?
Oh, um, let's make it look like it was, um, Forelli...
Fratelli brothers?
Fratelli brothers.
We'll just make it look like they did it.
Oh, my God.
They tie her to the car, chuck the bag in the trunk,
return to the party.
Got it, yes!
SIDLE: And everyone
just continues along
with the joyous festivities until...
I'm not a bad person,
and we didn't exactly kill her.
I mean, I like to think she killed herself
because she was crazy.
She did crazy things to our friend.
I mean, who hates a pediatric nurse?
Granted, we'd all been drinking, but she drove us to it.
We did what we had to do.
Sisterhood is powerful this and powerful that.
She was on a total trip.
There was no way Jill could endure a life of that.
I just... I wanted to shut her up with the drugs,
but that backfired...
leaving us...
...no choice.
She was coming at me.
I just, I just defended myself.
I didn't mean to take her down, but once she was, I...
I felt nothing.
There she was just, just staring at me,
and all I could think was...
"Thank God."
Grissom?
I.A.B. is here.
Lovely.
You should know that while waiting for I.A.B.,
we recovered the car and solved the case.
UNDERSHERIFF: Well, this is not
a "No harm, no foul" situation.
Disciplinary action may still be taken.
Okay.
So who wants to go first?
I don't think it matters.
I'm sure our stories are all the same.
Captioning sponsored by CBS, C.S.I. Productions,
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org